Good Feedback Is a Two-Way Conversation

Rather than relying on a feedback hierarchy, managers should consider a partnership model that distributes power and increases two-way conversation with their employees. It’s a humbler approach to managing people that focuses on asking questions, not giving orders. The author calls it the difference between “window gazing” and “mirror holding.”

“Window gazing” is a process of see-and-tell. Ask two people gazing out the same window to describe what they see, and you’re likely to get a pair of perspectives that are substantively different but remain equally valid. Not so in the context of work, where the imbalance of power allows only one view — the manager’s — to prevail. That changes with “mirror holding,” a dramatic shift in the tone and trajectory of feedback conversations. Instead of telling their employees what to see, managers guide them where to look. They engage employees in thoughtful conversation about their current strengths, future goals, and how to bring those elements closer in line.